20:22 lots of articles

one article sent me into a bit of a reading frenzy over the past few days. this is an attempt to collect all of my thoughts

evangelion

visuals of the rebuild series are spectacular, and highlight a lot of potential that was missed from the first go-around. the constant action emphasizes key character dynamics more, though i still appreciate the quiet, drawn out contemplation of the original TV show to the CG-assisted spectacle. The storyline is a bit less opaque, which hurt some of the appeal (the obcurity of it all - flashes of informatiion interspersed with long periods of quiet, emotional moments) but definitely improve understanding on the screen.

loving new music!

making music is not yet something i should pursue - there are better roles for me to play and lots of projects to finish. imagine if i finished something!

central park

shopping

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2021/08/pandemic-american-shoppers-nightmare/619650/

i still have no understanding of what drives such behavior and this entitlement! theories about class warfare carry some weight, but feel too systemic to completely explain behavior. i'm unwilling to allow critical theory to solely explain behaviors that are at their core individual, though i will admit that i have fought against pressure from others to not be this way.

tracking conversations

is texting out of the blue still too impersonal? maybe i should find some way to earmark converation for specific times and dates. i have to build my system!

the new american university

https://nadiaeghbal.com/asu

love this work! hadn't thought about ASU - or colleges - in this light. Admire the thought out marketing, even though the justification for the college architecture may be only that; the article is largely dismissive of the ability of elite universities to promote and conduct networking between students, as it is far more likely for these connections to benefit others than the average available course. physical proximity to others is far more powerful than any subsequent ability to network when entrenched in life.

critical networks

https://meltingasphalt.com/interactive/going-critical/ how things spread!

visualizations; explaining code via ascii art

https://blog.regehr.org/archives/1653

high return activity: raising the aspirations of others

https://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2018/10/high-return-activity-raising-others-aspirations.html "why don't you just do it all?"

this specific case is regardint the intentional promotion of masters students to PhD students - as often the former aspire to be the latter, but don't have the adequete inspiration, based on what the article implies about their school and field?

inspiring others and 'upping' their expectations of themselves is therefore one of the best things you can do with your time and your life! giving others the resources, knowedge, recommendations, inspiration to realize part of themselves is a wonderful thing.

the more i reflect on how i have changed, and how much, the more i realize that my inspirations ahve not been from a small, conscious set of people i have curated - they have been from everyone in my life, especially those i choose to let in, and this is what makes self awarenesss so so so so so important. know what influences you so that you can control this, but never limit it!

self metta

https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/comments/4otjgr/how_do_you_do_metta_on_your_self/d4hac38/

to love someone you pay attention to their needs. four different loving emotions of the brahmaviharas; each comes from directing attention to experiences and beings, anything that can experience pain, pleasure, want or fear.

1. pain/compassion

   how we understand how to feel bad, and as such the root of compassion; this is why we know we don't want others to feel bad! we have experienced pleasure, so we understand the pleasure of others; must come from ourselves first. experience compassion when we see someone else hurt and we help; the attention produces the feeling. producing self-compassion is to place attention on a way the self hurts; not to pity these emotions, but to understand your own suffering and empathize with it as though it were the suffering of another. Examine specific pains or pain in broad strokes and empathize with it.

2. pleasure

   we feel sympathetic joy when we appreciate others feeling pleasure, a we know how it is to enjoy pleasure ourselves.

3. metta

   'lovekindness', or the ability to

   it is okay to quit anything whenever you want, so i am quitting this