* Monday, 09/18/23
** 10:00
Thinking about the impact of wearing something that acts as a focal point for your identity. The huge camera shapes your day - who you are - what you intend to do with your day in a way that the Ricoh in the pocket never will. The huge accessory gives you a quest, a way for others to visually identify you and a way for you to talk to others about what you do that day. The huge accessory gives you a quest, a way for others to visually identify you and a way for you to classify yourself.

I think that sentence may have been duplicated.

This idea is reminiscent of Stephen Wolfram's laptop setup - propped up at his waist, ready to type, at all times.

The way that this device inconveniences you is a constant reminder that you /want/ to accept this inconvenience - that you're making a sacrifice every minute of the day to do what you love - and other people can see it; they can at least observe the mission you're going on.

This reminds me of going on a walk with a problem held in your head; with carrying a burden or task and idea that you're obsessed with, can't stop thinking about until you find an answer.
** 12:49
The only two ways I can ever imagine taking photos of people are:

- Across the table from me at a restaurant or dinner
- Across the room, in their apartment or mine

Maybe 40mm is for people and 28mm is for things.
** 12:50
The clothes that I'm wearing today feel too generic.

- Black wool sweater
- articulated pants
- Sock darts
- Bose headphones
- Black tote

This outfit is consistent but not distinctive - there is no focal point for someone to remember me by. Nothing I wear tells someone else what I'm interested in. There is no band tee or tracksuit or football jersey to talk to someone else about.

My camera's too discrete now to stand out.

That's a good thing; the Ricoh can replace my phone.
** 20:56
Thinking about ways to more deliberately improve my photos.

I wonder if I'm using the right camera or the right focal length. I feel too wide in so many circumstances. The 28mm is just right for home life, for shooting indoors, for recording life day-to-day, but for walking outdoors - and expecting to find great photos - it's quite hard to use. Maybe the GR3x would be a better fit for me; maybe that camera would get me the depth of field I want from a friend in a cafe.

I'm not sure. I think the ability to easily and unobtrusively make more and more and more photos with a camera in the pocket is brilliant. I think having a large sensor with a high resolution is good. I think carrying a camera everywhere I go without any effort - and without showing others - is so powerful. A camera smaller than a phone is a beautiful tool.

How do I set practices to get better?

I can:
- Walk through my photos every night, trying to get better
- Revisit places day after day, perfecting the same kinds of photos. This gets boring really quickly and doesn't generalize to everywhere. Scratch that!
- Keep walking into new places. New places will help you learn from old ones.
- Try new cameras. The Ricoh is an experience I've really been learning from. We'll see how that process continues.

I noticed that the Magnum photographers take tons of shots of a particular scene - 50, 100, in a location - rather than moving on. I need to learn to stay in places longer. I'm out to take good photos. I'm not in a rush to the next location.

I like the idea of talking through and presenting my ideas to others. Is there a way to workshop photos with other people to improve deliberately? Try to find someone else to talk through photos with.

The curved lines of the Ricoh - and the way they show up in-camera - isn't fun.

On the bright side - I love the way my images of the Stockholm Library around the corner turned out. Wondering how possible it is to make more, similar photos.

Likewise - the hostel sign, the images inside my apartment, the subway system, the office - all photos that this camera was able to handle extremely well. This focal length is indoors and intimate.

Also - particularly in Stockholm - the focal length allows me to capture the entire facade of a building opposite me on the street and still have room for some action in the foreground. I didn't anticipate this. It's a useful tool I'll have to keep using as I wander around.

This was all basically what I expected when I purchased the camera; I shouldn't be surprised that it wasn't able to capture some of the tricky frames - like the woman through the white window on the green background - as well as I really wanted to. Maybe I have learned a bit about taking photos. I'm just not sure that it's best suited for my street photography work a lot of the time. I'll keep pushing it for the rest of this week - at the office, after work, and so on - and we'll see how it goes.

Decision: I am keeping the camera.

Will I use it daily?

I'm not sure yet.

I'll still try to take the Fuji out on weekends and longer trips. This isn't a replacement for those circumstances. We'll think about the GR III x though...
** 21:28
I like being able to pick games I don't want to play; to say one vector is good enough and investigate others. No subject is simple, but some subjects interest me less than others. It's okay to follow internet rabbit holes. Abandon the leaves that lead in the wrong directions.
** 22:30
Daily reminder that cooking is a gift, a privilege, and you have more of the best ingredients in the world - more than any other person has had available here at this point in history - down the street. Learning to cook is learning to love a process.
** 22:34
Instinctively I want to hate that I don't have the time to be good at everything in the world, but I love that I can fill in all of the gaps that friends and people I meet can't.

I just have to get as good at what I can now and meet those people when I can't.
** 23:23
I guess I just need to do more work.